Summer 2001 Game Updates

Game 1
Americans 5, Panthers 1.
July 11, 2001
Season Record 1-0-0.

...and Then There Were Eight.
(Sugar Land, TX) A new season starts of for the boys in blue. Having a whopping 4 forwards and 3 defensemen for the game was rather disconcerting for a season opener. But, a very short bench did not dampen the efforts. Jim C opened up the scoring for the season with a nifty little feed from a patient Pete B early into the first. Moments later, a camped-out Rod Fenwick redirected a hard shot from Ti at the left point. The game was slow and sluggish as neither team seemed able to skate out the cobwebs of the off season but the Amerks kept things easy by letting the puck do more of the work. Other tallies were: Jim C on a net crash with a rebounder coughed up due to Fenwick hammering one into the goalie. On a light feed back to the point from Pete "The assist machine" Babine, Brandon managed to rip top right twine with the Howitzer from the blue line. Stiller was killing the Panthers with his dazzling Duracell pads that we all wish would be stolen or painted over. However, in the midst of 10 guys skating like we were all standing in pudding, the Panthers managed to squander Stiller's shut out bonus beer privileges. Later in the third, we got another goal by Pete as he sported a look of disbelief as Costello actually made a receivable pass on a 2 on 1. Parking lot pops were enjoyed by each of the dehydrated, cramping, warriors. Those not in attendance were verbally raped and abused. Roll call read as: Babine, Stiller, Costello, Fenwick, Schuman, Hughes, Hilton, and Hodge. You _ _ _holes that couldn't make it need to get in good graces by bringing "provisions" next week. New season, new start.. "let's rock"--Al Bundy

Game 2
Dead Wings 12, Americans 2.
July 18, 2001
Season Record 1-1-0.

Not Enough Fenwick.
In what was best described as a shelacking, the Amerks skated off the ice with heads hung low. The Dead Wings basically put on a one man show as their best player put on a clinic and showed everyone what happens when an A leaguer decides to feed his ego by showing up some B league guys. The Amerks would like to welcome the new comers Adrian Libirion and Tim Darby. Also on hand in blue was Dr. Eric Rothenburg. The Amerks seemed unable to follow through on scoring chances. The 2 goals were scored by the second line with Brendon getting a great goal on the doorstep with a dead wing backpack draped all over him. Our other goal was from Rod Fenwick whom is becoming our diamond in the rough. His backhand deke (maybe on purpose, maybe not) hit twine and took away some of the sting. But the Wings had a knack for answering back quickly to take the wind out of our sails. Another note, and this may just be my own biased opinion, if the league keeps allowing jackass officiating by the velvet fog.. aka Waldo.. then it will have to deal with injuries. The hack n' slash game that sometimes develops should be controlled by players but calls need to be made. If you were there last night you know what I mean. Parking lot pops were enjoyed thanks to Brendon and Brian. Another interesting addition to the entertainment was a Jimmy Frame sighting. Apparently he has given up scoring goals in order to score "Tri's" as rugby has become his sport of choice. I guess so anyway, hell I just met the guy. Well, on to the next game. Hope we can pull our heads out of our cans. DrC. out!

Game 3
Hooters 4, Americans 1.
August 1, 2001
Season Record 1-2-0.

Hooters Bounce Amerks.

(Sugar Land, TX) Even with a shot of vitamin "E", the Amerks come up short. Apparently having two full lines and 3 D doesn't always seal a deal. Although, some of of us might question the comment of "full lines". In a nutshell, we let an inferior team beat us. I may sound like I am crying here but I sure hate when ref's feel obligated to make a call (albeit a poor misplaced one) in order to make up for a call that they missed. What I am talking about is when Stiller got tripped (or better yet Slew-footed) and took exception to it. Well, after cross checking the guy in retaliation (which could have been called right then) the ref's decided not to indicate a call; get verbally bullied into looking for something else, and were convinced into calling a bullshit call that gave us a 5 on 3 to defend. Crap, pure crap. Well, our goal came from Hodge. Laugh as we all may...(sorry Hodgey)... he did well to pull a pass out of his skates and get a shot off. Now for the unpleasant tasks... if you are in fact a member of this team.. I call on you to prove it! Those of you that are taking up space and preventing us from picking up players that might actually SHOW UP, please rethink what the hell your doing.We all love hanging out and having pops in the parking lot but the hodge-podge (pardon the pun) lines we have to try to deal with are frustrating. I really want to beat the teams we face. I say that because I know we can. Some consistency would be nice. For those of you showing up sweating, with herniated disks, bad knees, ankles, etc. putting in your efforts; I say THANKS! For you other no-show Amerks, Tony, Ti, etc... let's go! We need ya! If not you, then find a steady player to show up for you! Preferably NOT a C-leaguer. Just a thought. Oh yeah, Frame.. thanks for hustling.. if not for our D and Stiller. we would've lost 8+. Shit.

Game 4
Americans 8, Outlaws 6.
August 8, 2001 2-2-0.

Holy Hat Tricks Batman

(Houston, TX) Ahh to be back in the confines of Sharpstown. Marvin Zindler would run amock in that shithole. Me?, I am a big fan of 45-degree angled boards, corrugated ice, black toilets, and green showers. The boys in blue laced 'em up with a welcomed Babine in the line-up. It's always a treat to have two lines and 4 D show up. A special thanks goes out to Jim Burkhart for showing up after a short notice to sub for Stiller who's basking in sunny Florida ("enjoying all that gorgeous sn*tch by the pool in sunny F-L-A."...Slapshot circa 1977). Even if he showed up while his primary pair of skates were in Sugerland and his dull rusted backups were in his bag. I told him not to worry because dull and rusted are operative words in the description of our team. Just kidding of course. On with the game! The Amerks won this one with some teamwork. I forget the goals per period breakdown so I shall just let you in on the final score. The Amerks won 8 to 6. Goals came from Madden (1-the game winning goal I was reminded of ..repeatedly), Brendan or Tony(1), Fenwick(1), Babine(2), and ... ... the clouds parted, angels sang, birds alit, god's glory shown down like manna from heaven and the beams of glorious light fell down upon one Geoffrey Hodge. That's right sports fans, Hodge pulled hockey's version of the "Triple-Lindy". Post game press conference picked up these words from the scoring leader, "Man, Michelle wasn't here to see it...*sniff*.. *sob*...(muffled words and tears)" We all were thankful when the clock ticked down because the Outlaws were building up steam. We were afraid of us getting another power play because the Outlaws were able to get 3 (count them 3) short-handed goals on us. All in all though, we walked away happy. The coaching staff was a plus (O'Neill, Pete B., and Lerner) even though they were coaching via hand signals and gestures from across the ice, while swilling barley pops in the stands. They knew not victory or defeat.. as the saying goes. But hey, 2 on the DL and one just out to screw off during the summer. Well, good game. See ya next week.

Game 5
Americans 6, Houston Brew5.
August 15, 2001 3-2-0.

Brendan Saves the (back) Bacon

(SugarLand, TX)The Americans took to the ice with 3 wing pairs, 2 centers, and 4 D this past Wednesday with one thing in mind. Beat the Brew. Well, maybe two things in mind, beat the Brew and then consume some brew. At the drop of the puck it became obvious that the Americans were going to pull off their usual trait of "playing at the other team's level". If our opponent comes out flat, we come out flat. It would be remarkable if we could just dominate from start to finish. I digress. The first line put together some points early on for the Amerks. The chippiness started early as Jim C went to the sin-bin for retalliating for an obvious back of the knee hack (that still hurts by the way) by Stiller's favorite Brew-boy. The youth line of Darby and Adrian looked good getting some turn overs and pressing up, but flash thwarted effectiveness as one to many passes meant no points. Early tallies for the Amerks were provided by Capt Tim, Babine , and The Hodge (yes.. again.. I was reminded that he has a 3-game goal scoring streak going and a 1.75 goals per game avg. stat.. any guess on who reminded me of that?). The second period was exciting but on the offensive, Babine was the only Amerk to help out the board. Stiller was becoming more and more called upon, nails were being bitten from the numerous fans in attendance (see other rinks and other games). In the third, we relied on our epitome of sitting back on our cans. Players were all over the place. Staying in your lane was redifined as "everybody couple skate". It was embarrassing watching the Brew have life breathed back into them. Darby showed his on-ice diplomacy skills as he bested a Brew in some fisticuffs. After that tid-bit of entertainment, Adrian ripped a 5-hole after recieving what was easily the BEST EVER BOUNCE PASS off the boards, from the wunderkind Costello. (If you really want to see a well rounded hockey player, come out and see this guy).. promotional considerations paid for by "Friends of Costello" membership: one. Late into the third and with the Brew having tied it up, Phil did the right thing and took a necessary call. This set up a short-handed situation for us with a minute and change left. Capt Tim and crew put up a good kill line and the rest of us watched as the puck was coughed up by the Brew and fed up to a streaking Brendan Hilton. With all eyes on him and collective gasps.. Brendan deeked the Brew out of their socks (and crease) and hit the twine with a backhander with :46 on the ticker. A few more intense seconds and great defensive effort in our own end, we lined up for shakes with smiles o' plenty. Hopefully we have started a trend here. We have kinks to work out and cohesion to work in, but all in all... .. I am proud to be an American (sue me Greenwood).

Game 6
North Stars 5, Americans 2.
August 22, 2001 3-3-0.

Clank
(Sugar Land, TX) I guess it can be said that us Americans just can't handle too much of a good thing. Like being over 500. Like winning. It was easy to see that penalty trouble was both easy to get into and hard to defend against (3 goals against). We got real close on some shots but as the saying goes, "the bounces weren't in our favor". Ti's post ringer, Brendan's backhander (complete with bloody appendage), Tony almost stuffing one in a tiny seam, Jim having one die on the line. Uggg. The fact remains that as a team, we have to skate hard and shoot often. We looked better on the break-out but couldn't seem to put all the components together. We almost had a fan base as the high school sweethearts came out for some broom ball. It was interesting watching them clamor around in the parking lot as us old folk sipped adult beverages and grumped about having to move our cars. I think saw Madden attempting to race for "pinks" in the parking lot. I'm not sure if that equated to titles or girlfriends. Thanks to Phil for the beer run and Frame for the second installment which brought out the MadDog 20/20. Only Frame still drinks that crap. Hmm, actually upon reflection, I think a few of us turned some back. Maybe if we win the next game, we can get some Thunderbird or Boone's to enjoy. There's some incentive.

Game 7
Oil Kings 4, Americans 3.
August 29, 2001 3-4-0.

Oil Kings Rule Amerks
(Sugar Land, TX)Hey Amerks fans. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the boys in blue dropped a close one. The Oil Kings got on the board early with 2 goals in the first. After playing a damn good second period we manageds to tie it up. The first goal came from Capt Tim with a beautiful top shelf backhander after picking up his own rebound. The next goal was from Tony with a well placed shot that was delivered from Babine in his "office". The goalie for the Kings must've had the game of his life. Numerous shots on goal never hit the twine. The Amerks picked up a go-ahead goal from Brendan after having a great team-fed series of passes. The celebration was short-lived after the Kings coughed one past Stiller. From there, the crap began to heap up. As per previously established quota, the bad calls hit the Amerks hard. But, I can't cry too hard because we allowed a short handed goal and the initial two tallies from the Oil Kings should not have happened. Going into the final minutes we had to defend a power play. This stemmed from Babine retaliating from a 2 man mugging that couldn't muster a call from the 3 jackasses in stripes. "Little bitter there Jim?" Yes, because it resulted in an Oil Kings goal. Final score as we defeneded our open net was sealed at 4 to 3 Kings. My grapes may be sour but my beer was mighty tasty. Thanks to Doug Frame for his bounty of Budweiser which was delivered in 30 minutes or less, nice n' cold for our guzzling pleasure. Geoff and Dave, what, no post game pleasantries? By the way, add another player to the DL. Jim C's knee has finally outlasted his pride. A call to all Amerks, next week's Sharpstown bleachers need all off-ice participants present.

Game 8
Americans 6, Maple Leafs 6.
Sept 5, 2001 3-4-1.

How To Blow A Three Goal Lead-101
(SugarLand, TX) "How to blow a lead" by the Americans. Ugly, ugly, fugly. Nothing is quite as fun as leading by three goals in a game and then folding up like a cheap suit. Here's the skinny on Wednesday's game. The Amerks let in a goal on the first shot from the Leafs. We then answered back within a minute. At the end of the first we were knotted at 2 and 2. Goals were contributed by Costello and Hodge. The second period was well matched and played close. The Amerks came out ahead 4 to 3 to start off in the third. Second period goals were tallied by Babine and Hodge (is he on a roll?) Our captain summed up what we should do in the third period as keep it out of our end and preserve the lead. Well, at first we were able to do that. Phil got in a couple good blue line bombs (one of which had their goalie looking like a deer in headlights) to stretch our lead 6 to 3. But that would not do, we had to crumble. Stiller allowed new cushiony penetrable openings to be ventured by the Leafs after the other five guys slacked. We played for shit and it showed. We were lucky to leave with a point. That's the way I saw it. Remeber that a mandatory team meeting is to be held next week. Also, poker at Pete's!! Laters! DrC..out. 

Game 9
Outlaws 12, Americans 8.
Sept 19, 2001 3-5-1.

Amerks Lose With Determination

(SugarLand, TX) I know that summary is late. It's just that it has taken me this long to figure out how we could score that many goals, lead the game for a good stretch, and then tank it. The credits for goals are long since forgotten but if a smidgeon of memory serves then , I think they are as follows: Babine 2, Hodge 2, Phil 1, Brendan 1, and the other 2 I have no clue. Sorry to the guy(s) that worked hard and got 'em. I know I didn't get squat but I did feel better on the gimp leg out there. One thing is certain, I bet Stiller would love a few of the Outlaws' goals back. Dave made up for his lackluster performance by distributing hops and barley in the parking lot. Oh yeah, Hey taxpayers of the city of Sugarland, how about suggesting they spend a buck or two and get a damn mosquito truck to pass by on occasion. I had to leave after I got a quart low. Sorry this write up stinks. We are in the playoff running here and I am so pissed at the little rink rat roll takers/ HHA executives. I would love to stone this summer session and prove that the depleted roster Amerks are still a team to be taken seriously. I must say that we all are trying but the technical mistakes are killing us and the wheels coming off in the third has got to stop. Just a thought.

Game 10
Dead Wings 5, Amerks 2.
Sept 26, 2001 3-6-1.

Wings Fly Past Americans

c.. tic-tac-toe. Prettygoal to finish up the game. Hopefully its a sign of more to come. Had we bangeda few goals in early maybe the game would've been different. A special iron manaward goes out to Babine. Not alot of guys could do what he did. I hope heisn't coated in flexall, curled up in a fetal position crying, and hurting fromtrying to do too much too soon. For those of you who are lost, I am sorry but Ican't elaborate without usurping the doctor patient privilege. Next week's gameis an early one and there is scuttlebutt about caravaning to Two Rows breweryor Big Ass Beer Night afterwards to close out the season. Any thoughts?

P.S.: On a side note; I had hit spell check before sendingthis, and when "Babine" came up.. it asked if I wanted to replacewith "baboon". I figured one Hodge is enough and promptly selected ignore.

Game 11
Hooters 5, Americans 4 (OT)
October 3, 2001 3-7-1.

Not Enough "O"

(Sugar Land, TX ) Last game of the season. No shot at the playoffs. A win by the Amerks would only spoil Hooters chance at making the playoffs. A victory would be not injuring your beer drinking hand for the last game of the season. Unfortunately, the game did not go without incident. Geoff Hodge suffered a sprained ASS BONE as he had to sit his two minute elbowing penalty (to which he freely admitted) along with a 10 minute misconduct which was also earned due to overly agressive vocalization of his misguided wrath. Do the crime, do the time, and shut the hell up. It did, however, give him 12 minutes to blow schmoopie kisses to his love d'season as well as practice the many ways to vocalize the one word phrase 'help'. Still, the refs were not amused. But, to the game. Hooters scored seemingly before the echo of the sound of the drop opening puck hitting the ice had faded from the arena. Given the Amerks desparate nature and willingness to try anything for the last game of the season, an aged wrinkled grayed veteran was added to the second line (as there was NO THIRD LINE...hello...anyone out there?) A nice drop pass from Babine at the doorstep netted the aged veteran a goal and the Amerks a 1-1 tie. Hooters continued to set the pace on goals leading 2-1 and 3-2, but on a shift that can only be described as 'magical', the aged veteran and Mr. Babine added two goals in the last :60 seconds of the 2nd period to move the Americans into a 4-3 lead. While the Amerks were making this miracle comeback, Mr. Hodge enjoyed a center ice seat in the penalty box. Unfortunately, his services were unavailable for 12 of the final 18 minutes and the age in the legs became apparant. Shortly after Mr. Hodge rejoined the team for the last half of the 3rd period, Hooters scored the tying goal. The teams battled evenly up to overtime. An overtime that would last just :16 second as Ivan Selever would redirect a pass past the Amerks goalie for the goal that would send Hooters into the post season. Somewhere in Houston there is a team that will not make the playoffs as a result of the Amerks efforts, and the only person who feels worse is the man who let Ivan loose to score the goal. To all involved...enjoy the offseason, see you in the Fall!