Fall 99 Game Updates

Game 1
October 6th, 1999
Americans 4, Dead Wings 3
Season Record 1-0
Hodge Loses Sofa, Gets Win.
(Sugar Land TX) The traditional Dead Wing/American season opener was a whole lot closer than the last time these two teams met for the Summer Championship. The Americans drew first blood as Brendan "backbacon" Hilton took a drop pass from Paul Staszesky and shelfed the puck past a sprawling Jesse Bell. Pete Babine showed off his big shaft, knocking the puck out of midair to make it 2-0. The Dead Wings flying Kadlec Brothers teamed up for all three of the Wings goals and with a minute left in the game it looked as if the Dead Wings would continue their dominance of the Americans. With Americans goalie Mark Yocum on the bench, Wade Fischer slipped the puck in to tie the game 3-3 with :31 remaining. Fischer assisted on the game winner as he passed the puck to Hodge whose shot found the back of the net just nanoseconds before the buzzer blew to send the Americans home with a 4-3 win. The Americans first round draft pick Bruce Burak earns "La-z-boy" award for snoozing through the game. As an extra honor, Bruce is awarded BEERMAN status for the next two games. The good news, the next game is an early start, 8:15pm at Sugar Land Rink "A". Burak hopes for a fast game so he can make it home before bedtime.

Game 2
October 13th, 1999
Americans 2, Blackhawks 0
Season Record 2-0
Warm Ice, Hot Goalie.
(Sugar Land TX) "What's the secret to pitching a shutout performance in goal? Show up late, get no warmup shots, take a delay of game penalty, start off shorthanded, and then proceed to stop every shot, rebound and breakaway." That's a sneak preview from Mark Yocum's new book "You'll get nothing, and LIKE it!". Mark warmed up for his book tour by shutting down the Blackhawks...again. On the offensive side both goals game from the Boston Buddies. Paul Staszesky got the scoring started for the Americans in the first period (he was still in a good mood as the Dead Sox were up 3-0 at the time) and Pete "I'll take any bet on Boston" Babine made it 2-0 with a goal in the second. With a two goal lead in the third period, the Americans leaned on Yocum to stop two breakaways to salvage the win. After the game there was much joviality and mirth, (but no skipping) especially from Brothers Boston...at least until the 10th inning when Bernie YAKKED on the Sox to send the Yankees up 1-0, prompting Babine to renege on his bet with Keith Lerner. Yocum easily earns first star of the game honors followed by Bruce Burak who did an excellent job as both Beerman and Keyman. For those who are unaware, Keyman is the new security measure instituted by the Aerodrome to prevent any of the employees from entering the locker rooms to clean the showers. It obviously is working quite well.

Editors Note: Just got a call from Tim Madden's agent. He was upset that his client was not included in this week's write up. There, now he's in.

Game 3
October 20th, 1999
Americans 5, Panthers 4
Season Record 3-0
www.youlose.com
(Houston, TX) The fall season brings yet another web site to the Wednesday league as Steve "the amazing" Santini puts up a site for the "Jersey Stealing" Panthers. CLICK HERE to see the Panther site. From one Webmeister to another, it's actually pretty well done. A nice mix of fact, fiction and tongue in cheek humor. Best of all, it's in english! But we digress. Back to the game at hand. It'll be interesting to read the Panthers version of how they took a 2-0 lead and wound up losing 5-4, but here's ours...and we're sticking to it. PERIOD 1. Fenwick gets the call, "Hello, Rod? You're on defense" Fenwick answers in stellar fashion to assist Yocum in tossing his 5th period of shutout hockey. PERIOD 2: Less than a minute in, the shutout is gone as a clearing pass errantly bounces across the ice to the Panthers defenseman who blasts a shot that is nicely deflected in by the newest Panther "Johnny Five" aka Cris Limpus, aka Mr. Limpett, who had two goals on the night. After falling behind 2-0, the Americans got on the board as Tim Madden blasted a one time rebound past Panthers goalie Bob Emery. Nothing but net. Or skate and net, or post, skate and net...whatever. The Panthers answered with a goal to make it 3-1 but Paul Staszesky finally rebounded from his Red Sox Blues to score on a brilliant move. The BIG GOAL of the night came from Rod Fenwick with just two ticks remaining in the second period. Rod blasted a shot from the point that was so powerful it snapped Emery's stick in half, even ripping through the goal netting as it tied the game at 3-3. PERIOD 3: Geoff Hodge put the Americans up for good with a rocket from the blue line. Geoff (pronounced "help") then proceeded to check out Mattress Mac adds for a sale on Barcoloungers. Brendan Hilton added what appeared to be an insurance goal with just two minutes remaining. However, Hodge found a cozy "man size" recliner to occupy and the Panthers scored late to make it a 5-4 game. "No worries" said Hodge after the game. "It was just how I planned it." At least it made it an exciting game for the fans in the sold out Sharpstown Ice Center. Amazing what happens when you combine "homeless night" and "free beer night'. Some people will watch ANYTHING!

A few side notes: Babine still owes Lerner $20 on the Sox. HUGE Thanks to Richard Dirusso for turning on the compressors at S-town. The ice was better than we'd seen in ages! Designated BEERMAN next week is Wade Fischer. 2 cases for an unexcused absence. And this time no weak excuses about saving someone's life performing open heart surgery!

Game 4
October 27th, 1999
Houston Brew 2, Americans 1 OT
Season Record 3-1
Is There A Dr. In The House?
(SugarLand, TX) A doctor was definitely needed as the Americans sleepwalked through Period 1 minus Wade Fischer (MIA), Tony Raia (Back Injury) and Brian Hughes. After the inability to clear the defensive zone resulted in an early goal, the Americans managed to escape the first period down just 1-0. Period 2 found the Americans shorthanded with 5 (count 'em, FIVE) penalties. However, during one of the rare 5 on 5 moments in the period, Andy Koerner took a pass from Jim O'Neill and flipped it top shelf to get the Americans back into the game at 1-1. While the Amerks had shots-o-plenty in the 3rd period, most were aimed squarely at the chest of the teen sensation goalie d'jour for the Brew Crew. The score remained tied after regulation and the teams went to OT to decide the contest. About 3 minutes in, a scramble in front of the Americans net resulted in a goal for the Brew Crew and a 2-1 OT win. Congrats to the victors and we hope to meet again in the playoffs! MISC GAME NOTES: Good to see Referee Herb Fines back on the ice after a scary neck injury nearly 2 years ago. Goalie Mark Yocum's S.O. "Marj" gets 1st star of the game honors for hauling Mark's goalie equipment halfway across Houston to ensure his presence in the net. Dr. Wade Fischer, who's now MIA for 3-in-a-row has been upgraded to "beerman for the season" honors for his unexplained absences.

EDITORS NOTE: Next week's game summary will be written by Cub Reporter Geoff "Hunt and Peck" Hodge. Please be kind, gentle reader, as it is Mr. Hodges first foray beyond the crayon box. Any complaints should be forwarded to ghodge@thereisasofaonmyback.com

Game 5
November 3rd, 1999
Americans 6, Outlaws 3
Season Record 4-1
Americans Arrest Outlaws.
(Sugar Land, TX) Coming off the loss from the worst team in the league the Americans faced the new expansion team the Out Laws lead by fighting Irishman, Jim Laird, who would prove tonight to earn his full rank but would it be enough? First period action, at 10:57 Keith Lerner with a quick snap shot put Americans up 1-0. Fourteen seconds later at 10:43, Hodge's blue line blast finds money. With 4:46 remaining in the first, Raia's snap shot with an assist from Babine was nothing but net. Apparently Raia sin back injury this evening. The Out Laws managed to get on the board when Laird, the fighting Irishman, flashed behind the defense to score with the period ending 3-1 Americans. During the period break the Americans defense or( H-men) took time off to read "Helen Keller's Greatest hockey moments" The outlaws proceeded to show up for the second period with another fighting Irishman goal at 14:37 and another at 13:50 by Johnny eleven to tie the game. Babine knowing that the game puck was in the building decided to score the next two goals one at 12:45 with an assist from team Captain Madden and another in the third at 13:58 which would be a coast to coast streak that would land the game puck in his hand during the parking lot festivities. With 1:28 remaining the Outlaws pulled the battered net minder to try one more time. This effort would prove to be nothing more than another defensive goal as Brendan pumped a slider the length of the ice for the nightcap. Final score 6-3 Americans.

Respectively submitted Cub reporter Geoff Hodge.

Game 6
November 10th, 1999
Americans 5, Ice Holes 2
Season Record 5-1
Fischer Operates On Holes.
(Sugar Land TX) For three of the first four weeks of the season the Amerk's resident surgeon was MIA due to medical emergencies. This week Wade Fischer went to work on the Ice Holes. Wade's hat trick earned him the game puck and win #5 on the season for the boys in blue. Always charitable, the Americans spotted the Ice Holes a two goal lead in the first period. Fischer answered with two goals of his own in the second period and Keith Lerner deflected a Geoff Hodge shot into the net for the eventual game winner. In the 3rd period Coach David Stiller instilled the :flying wedgie: to lock up the victory. Babine added a goal that iced the win on an assist from Tim "I'm a Doc TOO dammit" Madden. "Primus" also assisted on Wade's third goal by opening the door for him as he returned to the bench, and a beer for him after the game. This week's MIA included Rod Fenwick (peanut butter flu) and Brian Hughes (lategameitus). Paul Staszesky gets the "gamer" award for showing up in spite of a case of the creeping crud and turning in an excellent performance on "D". CLICK HERE to read the game summary from the Ice Holes perspective.

Game 7
November 17th, 1999
Hooters 4, Americans 1
Season Record 5-2
Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.
(Houston, TX) Writing a game summary each week takes a lot of time and energy. After battling with the refs on some hockey history making calls, frankly, we're exhausted. So let's just use HOOTERS summary. A few corrections and notations were made where necessary. Here's how the game was played as seen through rose colored glasses: "The game started with a heavy pressure on Hooters. Nobody seemed to believe that Hooters with their short bench would withstand such pressure during all three periods. <so far, so good> But not only they did. In the first period the game was made. <translation. After the ref called a highly dubious penalty shot, it took the Americans a the balance of the period to recover from their shock, stupor or amazement at the call> Danny opened the score when the ref awarded him with a penalty shot. 1-0. <AWARD being the key word in that sentence. Maybe GIFT would be more appropriate> Soon after that Hooters played a combination and Eugene passed the puck from behind the net and Jeff rocketed the puck under the roof. 2-0. <after further review it was a defensive turnover, but we'll give Eugene credit if he wants it>. Later in the first the puck came to Ivan and he sent it in the upper corner from the sharp angle. <again, on an errant clearing pass> Wow! 3-0 in the first. <you think YOU were shocked! Don't look a gift horse in the mouth> Hooters remembered that last season Americans came back in the third, tied the game and won it in the overtime.That is why Hooters skated well throughout the entire second period. <no goals scored in the second period...Americans begin to recover from penalty shock> Americans got nervous and were "rewarded" with a bunch of penalties. <rewarded for getting tripped and slashed? You're too kind.> At the end of the second period Skipper stopped the puck at the blue line, moved forward and put it in the net. 4-0 leaving Yankees a very little hope. <but with full command of the english language> Kevin played very well and Hooters' defense looked solid enough to keep Americans away from the defensive zone. No shots, no goals. At the end of the third period shorthanded Hooters allowed Americans to score a goal <Mr. Fenwick graciously thanks your for allowing him the privilege> and that was it. The game was made and Hooters are on top! Final note: Congrats to Hooters on the win, shame on the Americans for letting a zebra take them out of their game. Review any past game summary and you'll see we've never complained about the officiating. We know it's a difficult, thankless job. But, if you accept the job, realize that the position is not intended to be an IMPACT position. Rather to enforce the rules (as written, not imagined) and let the players play. Nuff said. Happy T-day all...see you in two weeks!

Game 8
December 1st, 1999
Oil Kings 6, Americans 5
Season Record 5-3
Stelk 5, Americans 5.
(Houston, TX) When Keith Lerner scored just :50 seconds into the game to put the Americans up 1-0, nobody dared think of the return of the "Lerner Curse". Or, is there a new "shorthanded curse" cast upon the team. With the Oil Kings fielding just HALF a team, it was a certainty that the Americans would see TWICE as much of the Oil King's speed demon Ryan Stelk and his mini-me companion Mark Tushnet. The Double Dose of Stelk proved fatal with just three minutes remaining in the game and the Americans holding a 5-3 lead. Stelk banged in three goals, sending the Americans home with a disheartening 6-5 loss and a lesson in how not to protect a late game lead. Wasted was a sweet three goal performance from Pete Babine and a goal by Wade Fischer. The only Kings goal NOT scored by Stelk was a power play goal by #4 Heywood Jablowmi. The Amerks will try and regroup next week as they take on the North Stars in a battle to stay in the hunt for a playoff spot.

Game 9
December 8th, 1999
Americans 2, North Stars 1
Season Record 6-3
He's Goalielishus!
(Sugar Land TX) How else can you describe a guy who picks up a team's lackluster performance, single-handedly wins the game AND has brewery-fresh hand crafted beer for you after the game? I mean, who ELSE gets beer with the born on date of "Today"? When you say MARK, you've said it all! Congrats to the North Stars who gave Americans goalie quite a workout, and to the rest of the Americans team who allowed Mark to showcase his best effort of the season. Tim Madden gets assistant goalie honors, aiding Yocum in stopping a 3 on 1 thanks to a well defined EYA. (see Americans glossary for translation, available at fine bookstores nationwide). Paul Staszesky got the scoring started with a goal on the first shift of the game on a pass from Pete Babine. (yes, you read that correctly, Pete and PASS were used in the same sentence). Brendan Hilton scored the eventual game winner later in the first period poking a loose puck past Stars goalie Richard "go to him, GO TO HIM" Dirusso. After the Stars scored in the second period to bring it to 2-1, Yocum installed the clear Plexiglas for the third period and brought home a much needed win, breaking the Amerks two game losing streak.

Game 10
December 15th, 1999
Americans 5, Dead Wings 2
Season Record 7-3
The Barcolounger is BACK!
(Sugar Land TX) When the Americans defeated the Dead Wings 4-3 in the season opener, Geoff Hodge was a HUGE factor in the win. Hodge would prove to be a factor again in the rematch. Hodge leads the Americans in penalty minutes for the season, and stepped up again as the Amerks totaled 24 minutes in the sin bin en route to a wild win over the D.Wings. As the penalties were spread around, so were the goals with Babine, Madden, Lerner and O'Neill all scoring, but none was prettier than Brendan "Papa" Hilton's goal as he undressed Dean Hill on a shorthanded goal that proved to be the game winner. At last report, Mr. Hill was still searching for his JockPlus somewhere in Arkansas. The Amerks also got into the Christmas spirit ringing Dead Wings goalie Jesse's Post Bell on numerous occasions. In fact, it was all Bruce Burak could do to not sing Christmas Carols after clanging a high hard one off the corner of the goal. While it deflected harmless into the corner, the win put the Amerks into the festive holiday mood. Thanks to all our fans for another standing room only attendance. No game next week for the Christmas Holiday. See y'all on the 29th!

Game 11
December 29th, 1999
Americans 2, Blackhawks 2 (OT)
Season Record 7-3-1
The Birthday Tie.
(Sugar Land TX) Where were you on December 29th, 1954? While most of us weren't even a twinkle in our fathers eyes, little Timmy Madden was checking out the nurses from his crib. Fast forward to 1999 and Dr. Madden was preparing to take the ice on the eve of his 45th Birthday. Not much has changed. The crib is bigger, and he still checks out the nurses, and all he wants on this special day is a bottle to celebrate a win. Nobody likes getting a tie for their birthday, especially THIS kind of tie. But with the Blackhawks entering the game needing a win to extend their season into the playoffs, there was somewhat less of a motivation for the Americans. They had a guaranteed postseason berth, win or lose. Mix in a two week layoff, a few pounds of turkey, candied yams, desserts and top off with 4 players MIA for the holidays and you've got the recipe for todays game. It wasn't that the Americans played BAD, it's just that the Blackhawks played with a clutching and grabbing urgency that got them what they needed. One more game. Wade Fischer got the Americans scoring started in the first period with a blast from the blue line. After the Blackhawks tied it up at 1-1, Brendan Hilton shelfed a loose puck in front of the net to make it 2-1. The Blackhawks scored the tying goal shorthanded late in the 3rd period. Game puck goes to backup goalie Scott Wilkey who played an excellent game in net for the vacationing Mark Yocum. Wilkey debuted his new custom painted AEROS mask in this game. Next time you see Scott, ask to check it out. It is one sweet piece of work.

Assuming the world still exists on January 5th, 2000. The Americans will play in round one of the playoffs. Location, opponent, date and time TBA.

Game 12
January 5th, 2000
Americans 6, Houston Brew 4
Season Record 8-3-1
Just What The Dr. Ordered.
(Houston TX) Ok, THIS has got to go in the WEIRD file. After the Americans lost to the Houston Brew in game #4 on Oct 27th, the headline was "Is there a Dr. In the House?" Is it weird that Dr. Tim Madden and Dr. Wade Fischer teamed up for three goals to lead the Americans to a 6-4 win in the rematch? Or, even scarier is the "we'll see you in the playoffs" reference, written almost three months earlier. (doo de doo da, doo dee dooo da). Regardless of the "mojo", it was time for the Americans to even the score with the Brew. Bruce Burak started off the scoring, scoring his first goal of the season to start a 3 goal first period. However, with the Americans up 3-0 after the first, the scrappy Brew Crew were NOT about to lay back and take it. The second period ended with the Americans clinging to a 4-2 lead. In the third period the teams played relatively even with the Americans advancing to round #2 in a hard fought 6-4 win. Props to the Brew for not quitting on a game that looked at many times to be a solid win for the Amerks. Also, as much as we ragged on the officiating early in the season, win or lose, this was one of the more fairly officiated games of the season. While neither team AGREED with all of the calls, the game was called consistently, and THAT is key! Tim Madden claims the game puck for his two goals. Other Americans notching goals were Burak (his first), Pete Babine, and Paul Staszesky scoring a key shorthanded goal. Doc Madden was seen camping out in front of an empty net at the end of the game and was just nanoseconds away from scoring a hat trick. Interviewed after the game, Madden dismissed accusations that his 3rd goal would have been running up the score. "Hey, greed is good!" commented Madden.

Game 13
January 12th, 2000
Blackhawks 2, Americans 0
Season Record 8-4-1
Blackhawks Outskate Americans.
(SugarLand TX) Or, was that Out-ROSTER the Americans. Maybe it's our imagination but every time the Americans met the Blackhawks, it was a different team. On this eve it was certainly a different team than the Americans defeated 4-2 or tied 2-2, just two weeks ago. Freshly stocked, the Blackhawks came out en fuego and took an early 1-0 lead. The Americans were unable to answer with a goal and it was 2-0 at the end of the secodn period. The third period was no better for the aging legs of the league's oldest team and the Blackhawks hung in for a 2-0 win and a shot at the Ice Holes for the Championship next week. Thanks to HIHOA for bringing out a great referee crew for the game. Game puck goes to Mark Yocum who stopped a few 2 on O breakaways (thanks to a defenseman who will go unnamed) to keep the Americans in the game. Overall not a bad season. Won twice what was lost, but once again the bridesmaid, never the bride. Could this be related to the Lerner Curse? Only time will tell!