Summer/Fall 2003 Game Updates

Game 1
Americans 5, Bares 3.
August 12th, 2003
Season Record 1-0-0.

Hilton Hat Beats Bears
(Sugar Land, TX) This game definitely goes to the "D" as Brendan Hilton puts on a clinic at both ends of the ice notching three goals, and setting an example for his "D" line mates. Newest American Keith "big stick" Weirich joined with Dave "2liveJew" Stiller and new goalie Jim "Cody" Burkhart held the entire Bares team to the same 3 goal total turned in by Brendan. Eric Johnson and Bob Babine each added a goal as the rest of the team pulled Ironman duty for MIA Amerks, Pete "I'll be there" Babine, John Parks, Brian "groin" Hughes and "Papa" Rod Fenwick. It should be noted that the first Ironman of the game award goes to Dave Stiller, who turned in a NINE minute shift to open up the game, followed by Tim "Chunks" Madden who held down the ice for the first SIX minutes of the game. Critics claim Madden should not have rec'd the second Ironman star as that was only :28 seconds longer than his normal shift average. We stick with our award, way to go Tim!

Game 2
Americans 11, Rangers 3.
August 19th, 2003
Season Record 2-0-0.

Rangers Reel From Rod's Wrath
(Sugar Land, TX) Prior to scoring his four goals, Rod was overheard on the bench saying."You should not have cut me...from defense" The decision to move Rod to forward from defense was a personell decision...as in LACK OF. With Stiller filling in for Burkhart, Babine recovering from stepping in a ho, and John Parks MIA, just nine Amerks suited up for the game. Since Rod is well known for going both ways. (forward and defense...get your mind out of the gutter). He was moved to forward where he notched his first goal of the season. Rod stared down the goalie and growled in an eerily Swartznaggerian tone "I'll be back". After his second goal, he proclaimed "You can't HANDLE the Rod". After the third goal he scowled "I think you need a bigger glove", but after goal #4, Rod just smiled. He'd single-handedly outscored the Rangers, and it was time to holster the Easton and enjoy a mighty find low carb Ultra...Mr. Atkins' best friend. In a supreme effort of "piling on" additional goals were added by Madden, Bob "two in a row" Babine, E-Diddy Johnson, Brendan Hilton, and a blast from the point by Keith "Big Stick" Weirich. Forgive me if I missed any...I only have 10 fingers. Fenwick easily take sfirst star of the game, but the vote is still out on the second two stars. Contenders are Bob Babine for his 6 assists, Stiller for his performance in net, or Brendan Hilton for driving Stiller home to get his spare set of keys as his other keys were locked in his back pocket. NOTICE: Next week is "JAM NIGHT" with Jimmy Frame and the musical stylings of the Flyers string quartet. FREE performance after the show. get your tickets early!

Game 3
Flyers 6 Americans 2.
August 26th, 2003
Season Record 2-1-0.

Clank!
(Sugar Land, TX) Too many posts, too few players, too many penalties, not enough plays. See pages 34-197 in the Book Of Excuses. The MVP of the game was a lone fan who had to endure the torture of watching this accident on ice. Off the ice, Brendan Hilton was recovering from his own accident (GET WELL BRENDAN!) The only highlights to mention was the top notch goaltending from Jim "Cody" Burkhart who kept the game from being a triple digit loss. No, really, it was THAT bad! Dave Stiller and Hustlin' Joey P scored the only goals for the Amerks. Next week, same time...let's hope for a better result!

Game 4
Americans 5, Outlaws 2.
September 2nd, 2003
Season Record 3-1-0.

Boy, What A Win
(Sugar Land, TX) For a complete writeup of this game, open up your email program, type up your thoughts on the game, and send to TEAM@HOUSTONAMERICANS.com. The cub reporter who normally provides the game summaries is on strike due to accusations of racial insensitivity. Quick summary: Short bench, short goalie, tall performances from those present, Amerks fall behind 1-0 but rebound for 5 straight goals from (insert your name here if you scored). See you next week @ 9:45pm!

Game 5
Americans 6, Panthers 5.
September 9th, 2003
Season Record 4-1-0.

It's Not How You Start...
(Sugar Land, TX) ...it's hoping your pacemaker holds out until the FINISH. After just :40 seconds into the contest, the Americans were looking at the wrong end of a 0-2 score. At that scoring pace, the Amerks were on track to lose 165-0. Goalie Jim "Cody" Burkhart pulled himself up by his own leg straps and made some strong saves, while the offense kicked things into gear. The game was tied at 2, 3, and 4 but the Americans pulled ahead to take a 5-4 lead, only to see the Panthers tie it up with 1:30 remaining. After a time out, the Amerks wasted no time by notching the game winning goal just :12 seconds later and hanging in for a very thin win. Next week, twi-lite time as gametime starts at 10:15. FREE NO-DOZE for all fans in attendance.

Game 6
Americans 8, Dragons 1.
September 16th, 2003
Season Record 5-1-0.

Who Are You? Who, Who?
(Sugar Land, TX) The year was 1981, Blondie had #1 songs with "The Tide is High" and "Rapture" and that was the last time that Keith (then "Little Stick") Weirich felt the Rapture of scoring three goals in a game. In the years that followed his hat tricks included: tossing cards in a hat, tossing a hat on a peg from across the room, drinking beer from a hat and using a hat for underwear. Would September 16th 2003 be the date that the hat trick dry spell would end? Eric Johnson got the scoring started going top shelf with a nice shot he picked up on his recent trip to Scotland. EJ put the puck right where Angus keeps the Haggis His golf partner Geoff Hodge was at home applying a little creame on something that he'd picked up in Scotland. (on an aside, did you know crabs can pole vault?) O'Neill buried the black biscuit on a sweet pass from Babine Jr and then the Big Stick went to work. After scoring two goals in the first period and half, Keith cranked up some heaters hitting the scoreboard, ref's ass, corner boards, spectators and everything except the 4x6 area between the red posts. Seems the hat would have to wait in the closet next to Jimmy Frame's accordian. Meanwhile, goalie Jim Burkhart turned in an almost perfect performance while Stiller, Hilton and both Babine's added goals as the Amerks romped over the kinder, gentler Dragons. After the game the Dragon's Captain appeared in the Amerks locker room taking Role Call to ensure the Amerks were not using any ringers. Who was the player he was most curious about? Senor Big Stick Weirich. Guess he wanted to get the license number of the truck that just rolled over his team. NEXT WEEK: Bye...see you at the 'Dillo!

Game 7
Americans 6, Bares 2.
September 30th, 2003
Season Record 6-1-0.

Bing, Bang, Babine
(Sugar Land, TX) Getting Pete AND Bob Babine to show up concurrently at a hockey game is like getting Elvis to sing at your kid's birthday party. It happens, but when it does, somebody is going to lose a Teddy Bear. In this case, it was the BARES that were the losers as. the B&B brothers were in true form. (league observers contribute it to RED SOX playoff fever). Most AHL analysts have the pair rated as Bob Babine having the "quicks" and Pete Babine having the "nopassa" but whatever the ratings, the combo was in synch as Pete scored a hat-trick. The other 3 goals were added byJoey P,, Tim Madden and Jimmy O'Neill (on a sweeet pass from Stiller). Evening highlights included goalie Jim Burkhart stopping at least two 2 on Nobody breaks. After last weekends Starmadillo, Cody commented "I can do two in my sleep". Heather Locklear and Brittany Spears were unavailable for comment. Next week's game is at 10:15. Free Beer for the first 1000 fans.

Game 8
Americans 6, Rangers 2.
October 7th, 2003
Season Record 7-1-0.

Pieczonka 3, Rangers 2
(Sugar Land, TX) Ask Joe about how he scored the hat trick and he'll say it was pure luck. Interesting how lucky a guy gets when he hustles. Pieczonka's hat trick was the fouth of the year for four different American players, but quite likely the most "hustle-related". After falling behind early 1-0, JP kicked into high gear and lead the Amerks to win #7 on the season. The game was marred with a few (22) penalties, but please note that no LEAPING calls were made. Most were Amerks retaliation to Ranger frustration. Cooler heads would have produced more power plays, but then again, with most players holding AARP cards, they were looking forward to the 2:00 minute rest. Once the game was out of hand, things disintegrated into a "lovefest" with one highlight being "Wee" Justin Popoff challenging Keith "Big Stick"Weirich. Thankfully the refs stepped in once Keith had Pop's jersey over his head or he may have received a schooling only reserved for a rare few who spent time at Alcatraz. Not that Joe needed the scoring assistance, but for the record, goals were added by Hilton, Weirich and O'Neill. This just leaves fewer acorns for the poor blind hog. Next week the Amerks hope to avenge their only loss of the season vs. the Flyers. Check your cable channels for availability in your area.

Game 9
Flyers 5, Americans 4.
October 14th, 2003
Season Record 7-2-0.

Flyers 5, Americans 4-Feit.

Those Americans missing in action on 10/14 owe a debt of gratitude (and several beers) to the few, the proud, that made it to the rink. Let us take a brief moment and honor them here. Jim "Superman" Burkhart who giveth and taketh away scoring chances, Tim "Ironman" Madden, who scored half of the Americans goals. Brendan "MVB" Hilton, who not only provided the team spark, but the beer afterward as well. Dave "Pokecheck" Stiller who turned away rush after rush with his mighty shaft. Jim "GM" O'Neill whose sole contribution was recruiting two more players to avoid any occurrences of SHDS. (Sudden Hockey Death Syndrome...brought on by players who are too old, playing too long). Thank god for the new slim-trim and aerodynamic body style of Tim Madden who was seen more often in goal celebration dances than he was on the bench. And thank you kindly to Adam and Megan who came to the rescue! Next week: 8:45pm. Bring your Blue Jersey and plenty of Beer!

Game 10
Outlaws 6, Americans 5.
October 21st, 2003
Season Record 7-3-0.

Your Absence Is Noted. Forget The Note, Bring BEER!

Someone once said "half of the success in life is just showing up". Nothing could be more true for the Amerks over the past two weeks. This week, the game started with an acceptable minimum number with nine players, but Eric Johnson was invited to leave after less than one period of play on a very questionable call by Mr. Stripes. And now there were 8. Fortunately the Pieczonka/ Johnson combo got the Americans started with 4 goals before the early departure by "E". Yes, another Hat for Joe's collection. Mr. Frame added goal #5, but the lack of bench strength caught up to the Amerks. Missing: Stiller (IR) Madden (awol with beer) and both Babine Brothers.

Game 11
Americans 9, Panthers 3.
October 28th, 2003
Season Record 8-3-0.

Full Bench = Full Net

When the Americans first last met the Panthers, the Amerks squeeked out a 1 goal win at the end. That was, of course, before Joe Pieczonka decided to go on his hat trick streak. In the last two game in which Joe played, he notched three goals. After scoring two against the Panthers, Joey P made it three hat tricks in a row on a hustling short handed goal. Even more impressive, his "mate" Eric wasn't in attendance. As for the other 6 goals, the scorekeeper spilled a beer on the scoresheet so we'll have to get back to you on it...or wait for the goal scorers to claim their goals. The only memorable goal was from Brian Hughes, but we're sworn to secrecy on his goal scoring style. If you want the gorey halloween details...ask Brian. Of special note was a rare guest appearance by both Babines. For their efforts, they both get goal scoring credit. Next week: SEASON FINALE....8:45pm. Wear a halloween costume, and get in FREE!

Game 12
Americans 7, Dragons 1.
November 4th, 2003
Season Record 9-3-0.

Johnson 4, Dragons 1.

After a week of rest, and contemplation on his past (overestimated) sins, Eric Johnson was back with a vengance. Eric went "Pieczonka" on the Dragons, racking up four goals and 12 assists. We're still checking with the official scorer on that, as Madden also notched 7 assists. Keith "no beer for me" Weirich added a goal, as did his defensive partner Brendan Hilton. Bobby "the kid" Babine rounded out the scoring using his infamous "no peek triple deek" move. Look for the instructional video soon. MIA were Jimmy "hey, I had to work late" Frame, Brian "rinkrat" Hughes, and Pete "hey, I was coaching in NJ" Babine. All in all an excellent effort but a definite lack of accordian playing in celebration of the final win of the season. The Amerks are assured a playoff berth, but seeding has yet to be announced. Check back here, or on ESPN 27 for playoff details.

Game 13
Americans 2, Panthers 1 (OT)
November 18th, 2003
Season Record 10-3-0.

Amerks Claw Past Panthers in Overtime

It wasn't pretty, but it was a win. After two lackluster periods, the Americans found themselves up 1-0 on a Keith "natural born shooter" Weirich goal. The Panthers tied it in the third with a pretty goal against a very screened Jim Burkhart. The third period was tightly checked and penalty filled, but all penalties were killed off and the game was tied at 1 when the final buzzer rang. The teams were informed that there would be one five minute period, then a shootout. Odd, for a playoff game, but the refs swore it was actualy printed and posted in the referees room. The first shift in OT by the Americans provided a lot of chances, but no scores. Then, the checking line took the ice, controlling posession most of the shift, but no scoring opportunities. The first line took the ice with about 3 minutes left in OT. With about a minute gone in their shift they were on a breakaway when play was stopped for an injured Panther player. The break allowed the first line to rest, and that may have been the deciding factor in the game. On the ensuing faceoff, the puck was played deep into the Panther defensive zone, and Bob Babine picked up a rebound to seal the victory with about 1:30 left in the Overtime period. Next week the Amerks will need a much better effort as they face the Flyers who defeated the Americans in both meetings during the regular season by scores of 6-2 and 5-4.